Monday, December 5, 2011

Zombieland ... that always happens to me

There I was in my ever reacurring nightmare, being in a zombie apocalypse. My family, friends and boyfriend fled to the mountains.  We hid out there for a couple of years and built a crazy reinforced cabin to keep the random zombie herd attack and machine guns on the roof to kill them too if need be.  One day there were too many zombies and they started destroying our cabin! We jumped on top of what was left of our cabin and started shooting the walkers like crazy! Don't forget the pepper spray apparently in my dream this time spraying pepper spray in their eyes killed them too. There were a few close calls, at one point one grabbed me by the foot and almost bit it off!, but we all fled the scene and made it out okay. The next thing we decided to do is something you should never do during a zombie apocalypse; head towards a major city. We thought that maybe since it had been a few years that the zombies may have died down in the city and gone elsewhere to find food.  When we got there we saw something we never expected! Zombies milled about freely but normal people were still around too; driving around in armored trucks and in super enforced buildings that could move up in the air on cement pillars to avoid a zombie attack. We went into one of these buildings to see what was going on and one of the guys inside told us that the U.S. was now ruled by an evil dictator. He made the country mostly safe but you had to keep going about your life slaving away doing jobs and all in the meantime avoid the flesh eating zombies! This place was a nightmare! I got so upset I woke up.

Monday, November 28, 2011

It's Over When the Fat Lady Falls in Love...

I am in Park City, Ut with all of my friends for my birthday. We decided to stay in a huge lodge about the size of a sports arena. We run around the hotel drinking and laughing when all of a sudden a pink mist appears over the mountains.  It moves swiftly headed straight towards our lodge! As soon is it gets really close the mist starts curling around the people outside and the people trapped in the mist keel over. Panicked, I ran to find my friends and luckily one of them knew what was going on. It was a mystical being which looked like  a Poke'mon name "Mew". She had come to feast on the humans and drink their blood but first she grabs her victims by tantilizing pink smoke. We saw the pink smoke going around the lodge all of which looked like lonk tentacles reaching out. We hurried and closed all of our windows and doors and once I reached the last one she had already made it through the window just a little bit. I slammed the window shut on it but the pink smoke turned out to be a solid mass that just looked like smoke so it just stayed there sticking in through the window. One of my guy friends couldn't resist touching it after I told him not to, but the spell was too strong and he did. He broke out in chicken pox and a high fever. Turns out you end up dying from chicken pox before she eats you. After waiting a couple hours the pink mist disappeared to reveal a fat lady covered in blood and laughing. My friend said now that the creature was full that it must find a man to love before she would leave. My friend said that she would go talk to the fat woman creature to find her a man to take her away. When she came back I noticed my boyfriend was missing! My friend told me that she convinced my boyfriend to go with the fat lady and that this creature put a spell on him to make him fall in love with her. Devastated I ran up to hug him and he shoved me away saying he didn't love me anymore and to get away from him. He then left with this fat lady creature and I went inside the lodge to cry. Then I woke up relieved to have it be untrue!!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

A Dinosaur is my Mom

I was a on a cruise ship when a large orange Dimetrodon (type of dinosaur) came up to me telling me to get on her back because a Triceratops (another kind of dinosaur) was coming and we had to get out of there! But it was too late we heard a roar and the Triceratops came storming down one of the hallways where the cabins were. Once she got up to us she proclaimed that she was going to be my mother now and steal me away from my true mother the Dimetrodon. I of course still being human didn't question who my mom was for a single moment, the Dimetrodon of course! We ran all around the cruise ship trying to dodge the crazy dino I don't know what happened after that because I woke up.

My Pirate website!!!

Check out all the scoundrels that were sailin' the seas during the golden age!

click here >> PIRATES

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Taylor swift tried to steal my prince!

I was running for my life on the beach from a flesh eating creature that looked between a hyena  and alligator. He was jumping on people and just tearing away at their flesh, yikes! He came up to me and I kept throwing meat at him but then I ran out. So I did the only thing I could think of doing next; I ran up and kissed it on the mouth.  All of a sudden the creature changes form and became a super gorgeous handsome prince! He said thank you and that he had been under an evil spell that only true loves kiss would break.  Then, the ocean began to glow and bubble and a path way came out of the ocean.  He told me he was the prince of Poseidon! We casually walked into the ocean and once we got under the sea there was a beautiful castle!! We went inside and everyone cheered and thanked me that the prince was home! We began to explore the castle and run around being flirtatious this was just too good to be true! He took me to the famous restaurant in the castle where we sat down to enjoy a fancy meal!! Someone came walking up towards us and who do you think it was? Taylor swift! She came and sat down next to me and said hello then immediately began flirting with my prince! He said he had to leave for a minute and would be right back. I told her she should probably leave and that my man and I were enjoying a dinner together (surprised that I was not star struck at all!) She laughed at me and before she could say another word the prince came back and sat on the other side of me and presented a ring!! He told me it was his mothers and to try it on. Overjoyed I reached for the ring but before I could get it Taylor Swift snatched it away from me!!! She tried it on and said how beautiful it was. Tears filling my eyes with rage the prince grabbed Taylors hand and took the ring and told her to get lost.  Offended and hurt Taylor finally left us alone and the prince and I lived happily ever after!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Bam Margera and I hear news the world is ending...from a fly

Bam and I were skiing down slopes with Nitro Circus ( a group on TV that performs crazy stunts). They kept on deciding to take me on black diamond runs which was terrifying seeing as how I am a beginner skier! When on the black diamond runs I found myself rolling, tumbling and sliding down the slope so as not to die! When we all got to the bottom of one of our runs the chair lift came to life and turned into an enormous fly!! He flapped its wings a bit and looked around as people were screaming and fleeing for safety. The fly looked at Bam and I and said "The world is coming to an end, aliens are coming." I was terrified! Suddenly one of my friends turned into an alien and flew up into space where he withdrew discs from his mouth and threw them at the alien spaceships! he also formed balls of energy from his hands to defeat the aliens and all was well.